Writings of someone who is NOT a bubblehead

I always thought of myself as a strong independent person. Never needing to lean on a man. Not needing to check up on him all the time and wait for calls/sms.

The past two weeks has been hard on me. Especially the past few days. Its from like calling 3-4 times a day and texting almost non-stop to hardly even 1 sms a day. Worst of all, I'm on holiday.

I don't blame  him for it tho. He told me earlier about it and I accepted it. Promised I wouldn't leave him with the excuse that his job takes over his life - like all his previous exes did. That's his deepest fear, until now.

I realize now that I'm a needy person. That I need my hugs and kisses. I need the "how are u today baby?" I need to hear my phone ringing. I realize now, Im really in love.

Ah, we've passed the three month mark (12th this month), more than halfway there. Why do I say that? Well because I never had a relationship that lasted more than 4 months. I know, sad right? Most of the time its because I'm too independent and many men can't accept that.

Weird tho this time we didn't even acknowledge it. So unlike the past 2 mths. I guess we both forgot. I know I did, and I'm sure so did he.

Before we got together, he did warn me about his weird and very busy working hours. But I've only started to feel it especially true this past week.

We would email, call and text many times a day. He'll wake me up with a morning call when he gets in the office. But that has stopped since 2 weeks ago. We would update each other about everything, from what he ate during his tea breaks and what I would wear to collage.

This week it's been different. I'm not saying its a bad thing. I really need my own space too. But it just feels weird. I guess after doing something for 3 months daily, it has become somewhat of a habit.

But no matter, I'm starting to get used to his working times. Weird but there are ways to work around it. Besides, I really should start working on my own projects which will also keep me busy.

Ah..feeling so bloody lazy (what's new eh?)

i've lost my drive for life. Been slacking for two weeks now. Sigh. Keep feeling sleepy. Wanting to curl up in my bed and just sleep.

Feeling rather antisocial as well. Im sure my friends are all chalking it up to the fact that I have a bf now. I dunno, i just don't have the energy or the will to get dressed up and go out. Because going out means we have to entertain and make small talk and laugh at things that are not funny and endure other people's characters.

Not to say that my character is the best ever, but there are some people who know that their actions irritate me and yet purposely do the same thing, just because its fun. Yea, sounds utterly stupid right? Dont understand me? Here's some examples.

:: Case Study 1 ::
This guy is really blur and sometimes ask a lot of questions. That I dont mind. But he asks me really stupid questions - things that he actually already knows. And then I have to explain it bit by bit. And when I say, if you already know, then why do you ask? His answer, "Cause i like to see u frustrated and trying to explain to me."

:: Case Study 2 ::
I used to like this guy, but then after I found out what a player he was and that he couldn't keep his mouth shut and told our friends that I liked him, I distanced myself away from him. Now he always makes derogatory (negative) remarks like mentioning about my weight, about how are my exbf (implying that I have a lot of guys) and so many other things.

Sometimes i just dont understand why some people act so weirdly.